NaNoWriMo ~ All over for another year...

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Well, I have to confess, I bombed out well and truly this year. 


Well, I bombed out publicly on Blogger, anyway.


I'm having so much fun writing my daily hand-written journal or morning pages, as some like to call it, that I didn't get back online to complete the Nano this year. Such is life.


And, you know, I don't even feel guilty.


In fact, I feel liberated and great.


I love Nano, (usually) and most years I do it and have fun with it. This year, I don't know why exactly but it didn't happen and I didn't feel bad or guilty in the end. I went through stages throughout the month of November where I thought I should get online and do some more but somehow LIVING was so much more important this month than being online.

When you have two parents in their eighties and one has alzhiemer's and the other a touch of dementia you realize what is important in life. You realize that worrying about what others might think or trying to impress someone with your Wow! word count is really not up there with living your life and loving your family.

Feels good...

How'd your Nano go this year?
Zak


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NanoWriMo Day 25 ~ Playing Catch Up...

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I thought I'd better pop by and say HELLO!

I've been busily sorting out my "real life" since exams and studying for the semester are over. I tend to let some things ride while engrossed in studies and then it's like, I come out of that world back into crunching reality and realize I have a stack of things to catch up on.

So, NanoWriMo got put on the back-burner too over the past seven days. How you lose seven days of your blogging life? It just happens. I'm not about to waste any time trying to figure that one out.

So,this is just a hello kind of post to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth, at least not yet and I'm doing a lot of thinking not much writing.

I'm sure all you good writers out there know writing is not only pen and paper or keyboard clunking, it does require a substantial amount of thinking, research and heaps of other fun stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving! And Happy Friday!

Zak.

Day Eighteen ~ NanoWriMo ~ Exams out of the way but working

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Just when I thought it was safe to get stuck into some serious word count. It's time to go back to work.

Finished exams today and hope to spend a bit more time NanoWriMo-ing but realized the kitty is a little under-nourished so I need to go to work. Darn that. :(

So today I'm having a lazy one.

How's your NanoWriMo going?

Zak ~ lazing back on the deck (if I had one)

 

Day Seventeen ~ NanoWriMo ~ The Heat is on...

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Tomorrow hasn't happened yet but today has...

Today I started the day with a quick trip around the paddock in the 4WD to feed the cattle and enjoy the rather too warm spring weather. It’s a beautiful day out there and a welcome change from the past few days of overcast indecision - bit like how my writing's been.

Anyway, today is another day and today I have a sense of confident but somewhat quiet hope that this day the plot bunnies can go back into their burrows and the man standing in the doorway with the loaded gun can take a back seat and hang loose for a while. 

Heh! 

That sounded very sixties didn’t it? 

Now people born after 1980 wouldn’t really have a sense of what hanging-loose means or meant, and hell, half the people living in the sixties didn’t have much of an idea either, really. And that, my friend is why we have the wonderful population of people we have today - hooray! Let’s celebrate! It’s almost Christmas...

Anyway, today we celebrate Day 17 of NanoWriMo and if you check out the site there are over 1,651,450,734 collective words for 2011. 

Wow!

Imagine having enough lifetimes to read all those words.

I wonder, being the cynic that I can sometimes be; how many of those so-called word counts are conjured numbers that people plug in each day or every few days to make themselves look like they’ve been writing.

“Oh no,” you say.

“How could people do that?”

Don’t be so shocked you’ve probably done it yourself. Nah, I didn’t say or think that of you at all. No, really that was just a spin back from the sixties, not my thoughts, not real, not at all. Gee we used to talk some crap back in those days, didn't we.

So how’s Nano going for you?

I’ve not heard much from anyone about how they are traveling. I guess all the bunnies are head-down-bum-up with loaded guns pointing at their , okay let's not go there huh?

'Til next we meet, tweet. Whatever.

Zak

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Day Fifteen ~ NanoWriMo ~ It doesn't get any easier ...

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Because today is another struggle day with NanoWriMo, I figured I'd just stop fighting it and let the crap flow...

So this is today's effort, unedited, un-everything. This is what Nano is really all about I guess.


Suddenly a plot bunny appeared riding a meteor labeled IU7. Wow, I haven’t seen anything like this before in my life so it's hard to explain it to you. It's like nothing on earth for starters and that must be because it comes from outer space or some such other place. Such a big one! Wow! 

Since the time… since I can’t remember. Since it was once upon a while ago when I used to have words in my head and scenes and pictures and I could write anything and it felt amazing to be writing for Nano and realizing that you don't have a worthwhile piece of anything to offer up to anyone. Grr said the grizzly bear, only there isn't any grizzlies in this story. What now?

What now, what happened was education happened and now all the writerly words that I once knew have been manufactured into accounting gobble-dee-goop. Aha! So it is learning accounting that ruins your writing abilities. Go warn all the students considering taking up accounting that it is not only bad for your soul and your wallet but it is also truly evil because it takes away your ability to write anything fantasy-related every again. 

Now, what good would a world without fantasy be?

I do worry so about everything and I do write everything I think when doing Nano and it can be darn embarassing at times like today when I have no worthwhile words to put forward, merely gobble-de-goop word count.

How does this look? 

How will people take it and why should this make me worry anyway? 

Okay, those lines make no sense whatsoever. Yes, I remind myself this is Nano and it's okay just write, write, write! Right?

Why does it seem so hard these days and why is my computer so slow and why do I not have a burning desire position a man with a gun walking through the door behind me? Why am I trying to rub out that black dot on my screen when it's actually a ' little ' that thing '

Why? Why? Why?

How come it’s easier to sit here than to go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine?

Why is it that things I used to love to do are now but a memory . 

Am I happy? 

Am I sad? 

What am I? 

Who am I? Where has everyone gone? 

Why does childhood end?

Why?

Why is it that I ask why so much?

Today I was listening to Paul Kelly now he is an amazing story teller. 

In his song he said there were these two blokes going on a fishing trip. Only when they get there they see this woman’s body lying in the river and she is dead and she’s been molested, (only Paul Kelly says it so much better than I do). The fisthermen basically put the body between two rocks and keep fishing for two days and then they go back to report the death to the  police and some other guy gets charged for the murder and the mutilation. It's a great song. Paul's really a great story teller though. You really need to check out the song to see just how good he is and to see how much I just distorted the real story in that song. 

But could anyone really do that? I mean, find a body and leave it for a couple of days before reporting it to the Police in all good conscience? Could anyone really do that? Probably. But what if they took the body to the Police and then they got charged for her molestation and murder, then what?

And, I guess that's what writers do. They make up the "then what" scenarios. Then this happened and then this happened and then that happened but somehow they have to make it so much more exciting than how I just explained it. 
 
So many stories have been done to death. So what is an interesting story now? 
What can we write about that hasn't already been written? What's your take on it?

And so, another Nano moment just passes away until another day.

Zak, hoping it will happen tomorrow.







Day Fourteen ~ NanoWriMo ~ Daydreaming...


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This years Nano is a struggle. It really is. The words won't come and when they do they are disjointed and maddening. Anyone else having hassles? Here's today's woe-some effort.

Day Fourteen: NanoWriMo ~ Daydreaming…

Not too long into my journey my thoughts cross to you and the time we spent together. 

Has it really been twenty years?

No particular one moment but a memory flashes in my mind then a longing that starts innocently and moves quick presenting as sin in my loins. 

Why do I ache for you so? 

Why is it after so many years thoughts of you can come rushing back like only minutes have past? 

I bow my head and shake the image. I press my nose against the cold glass and watch the white lines rushing by. I try to focus on anything else but still you’re face is clearly there in front of me, taunting me, seducing me, begging me to call. But I won’t.

Why? 

Why does she haunt me so?

I’m in love with someone else. I have my life all mapped out with my new wife and our child on the way. 

Why are you so present in my mind? Still.

Is this how it’s meant to be? Is this life, my mind?

Several hours later the evening bus pulls into Spencer Street. I hear the buzz of traffic in the streets nearby. But there’s stillness at the depot. It’s different to the rest of the city. It’s contains a loneliness, a cold concrete wall of emptiness and fear deep inside. I realize I’m alone, all alone and feeling the need.

What are you doing now my sweet wife?

I walk the lonely streets and browse the familiar walkways, display windows dull and lifeless with the night lack something. What is it? Somehow they don’t look quite right at this hour. I feel the need growing but I resist a visit to the brothel this time. This time I stay true. The emptiness returns and I fight my desire to stray a little. Who am I? My appetite for love presses against my jeans.

Is it love or sex I need right now?

I know I’m stronger these days and the need to pursue my desires can be overcome but wanting, the wanting never stops.

Where are you my love? 

What are you doing now?

Little Jonnie (A few years down the track)...

NanoWriMo Day Thirteen - Unlucky for some like me...


NanoWriMo Day Thirteen - Unlucky for some like me...

Old age is one disease of the human race that cannot be avoided and almost everyone seems to suffer from it or get it at some stage in their lives. Those that have avoided old age have not lived to tell the story and that’s a pity. How great it would be to know their secret.

Little Jonnie

Day Eleven ~ NanoWriMo ~ It's a tough slog...


Nano - Day Eleven....
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It had always been a fear of mine to do anything in front of people because it always ended in tears, one way or the other.
 
I remember when I was young, Jonnie, they called me. Yeah, my mum and dad called me John and it wasn’t long before the kids in my class called me “little Jonnie”. The brunt of teasing from all the other kids; the in-joke.

I was short skinny kid the bigger kids picked on. I was the one the other kids took pleasure in teasing and laughing as they held my head in the toilet bowl while flushing. Their screams of delight echoed from the toilet block but no teachers ever stopped them. 

As far as I could tell all this kept happening because my mum and dad couldn’t afford to give me decent clothes like the other kids and because I was smelly after spending the nights hiding from Dad’s belt. I never took baths and I was always hiding under the house so I guess I was the smelly kid too. 

One night I heard Uncle Tom saying as he swung back on his recliner and sucked on his humphteenth stubby,

“When life gets unbearable that’s when you need a good book”.

I sat there thinking about his words and imagining a huge white bear leaning down over me and picking me up and taking me over to her cubs then ripping off each of my limbs one at a time and feeding me to her hungry cubs. I imagined that I was an experiment that some aliens took pleasure in sending down to earth to see how much I could endure. 

“How could a book help that?” I said out loud without realizing then sat red-faced and too afraid to move.

“Well son”. Uncle Tom always called me son even though I wasn’t his son.

“If you read books you’ll never be lonely”.

Dad didn't punish me that night 'cause Uncle Tom was there but the next night I got the belt'n cause Dad now new my hiding spot.

And from that night on I read books. I devoured books. I still took beating after beating after school but at school I'd hang out at the library and bad kids wern't allowed to make noise in the library so I was safer. At least I had some way to escape when I was reading books. In books I had freedom and adventures. I was a hero!

I met Mr King once, you know, Stephen King the Author and he was as tall as one of those big buildings in the city. Mum says I shouldn’t exaggerate but ‘far out’ he was so tall. He gave me his autograph and was real impressed when I told him I’d read every one of his books and short stories. That day the kids gave me a wedgy and rubbed dog shit all up the back of my new Op Shop pants. They weren’t brand new but Mum got so angry she locked me in the back gardening shed all that night.

It wasn’t too bad though cause there was lots of stuff in there to look at and I found a torch that worked and dad had those books that mum never wanted him to read in the house so I got my education about girls and stuff. 

But actually I preferred to read Stephen King cause after meeting him and all he seemed so much more interesting and stuff.

Can’t really tell you much more about Mr King though because he had to leave real quick, said he had an appointment with the eye doctor so that was my big moment with a famous person.

I’ve met other famous people too but I’ll have to tell you about them tomorrow...